


Not So Cuddly Teddy Bear

by JantoJones



Series: Brief Briefings [92]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 15:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11255580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JantoJones/pseuds/JantoJones





	Not So Cuddly Teddy Bear

Having spent a great deal of time in the company of Napoleon Solo, few things surprised Illya. However, when the man entered their shared office with a pink teddy bear, it was enough to raise a curious eyebrow.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Illya asked, frowning at the bear. “Has something resulted from one of your incessant dalliances?”

“No. And I resent the word incessant,” his partner replied. “I have a date with Erica tonight”.

“What is wrong with the usual flowers or chocolates?” the Russian asked. “Does she have a child?”

“She doesn’t like candy and she’s allergic to flowers. ”Mind you, it cost me a lot more than I was expecting.”

“How much do you need?”

Solo brought a hand to his chest as though Illya had just stabbed him through the heart.

“You wound me.”

Illya said nothing.

“Fine,” the American conceded, eventually. “Could you spot me enough for tonight, until I get a chance to go to the bank?”

“I do not understand teddy bears,” Illya stated, handing over a wad of cash. “Why would a killer animal be a comfort?”

“I know you had a deprived childhood, but surely you had a toy which brought you comfort.” 

“Of course, but when you are six years old, and you witness a man being torn to shreds by a bear, the soft toy version loses its appeal.”

Illya could remember that day as clearly as could remember yesterday. His father, against his mother’s wishes, had insisted the boy was old enough to join him on a hunt in the depths of the forest.

The hunting party had comprised of Illya and his father, Nickolai, along with Nickolai’s friend Oleg and his teenaged sons, Sergei and Vitaly. It was late on the second day, following a successful haul, that they returned to the campsite and found a bear rooting around. The creatures were common in the forests, and everyone grew up with a healthy respect for them, and the knowledge of what to do in this situation.

Illya, though, was still too young to fully appreciate the danger the bear posed. He had screamed with excitement and darted towards it. As he’d grown older, Illya had learned that bears would generally run away from a loud noise. Unfortunately, this bear had thought it was being attacked as several humans ran at it. 

Oleg had placed himself in the way while Nickolai grabbed his son and ran away, along with Sergei and Vitaly. Over his father’s shoulder, Illya had watched in terror as the bear had torn into Oleg.

“My God, Tovarisch,” Napoleon gasped, when the other man finished his tale. “That’s a terrible thing to see at such a young age”.

Illya shrugged dismissively.

“It taught me that life is short,” he replied. “It also meant that, when death came en masse a few years later, the sight of it didn’t affect me like it could have done.”

Napoleon couldn’t think of anything to say in response. Illya’s early life was often a closed book, and those times he did allow Napoleon in only served to remind the American just how idyllic his childhood had been.

“Could you cover for me for an hour or so?” he suddenly asked.

“Of course,” Illya answered, with a slight smile. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to exchange this bear for a bunny.”


End file.
